Conscious Listening Part 1: Introduction
“The act of conscious listening is a form of love.”
- Katie Hendricks
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Growing up, most of us learned ways of listening in which we are not really paying attention to what is being said. Usually, we don't even know we're not really listening. After all, we're "listening" how we learned to growing up!
So what happens is we're in a conversation and we get caught up on a word or a phrase. We get triggered by hot-button issues. We typically listen through filters making up stories as we go, and forming conclusions in real-time—all without finding out more information or even if our story is accurate. That kind of listening doesn't reliably get us what we want. Conscious listening can.
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Conscious listening is the act of being intentionally present during communication between yourself and another while being aware of your own and the other's feelings and needs. (1)
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The benefits are significant. Through conscious listening you can create greater harmony, clarity, and connection in your relationships.
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Watch this video by Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks to see some examples of different ways to listen.
“Listening means forgetting yourself completely, only then you can fully listen. Listening means passivity. When you listen attentively to somebody, you forget yourself. If you cannot forget yourself, you never fully listen. If you’re too self-conscious about yourself, you simply pretend that you were there listening but don’t actually listen. You may nod your head; you may sometimes say yes and no, but you’re not listening. When you listen you become a passage, a passivity, a receptivity, you become available for true connection. When you are fully receptive doors open”.
- Osho
An Essential Relationship Practice
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